I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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