the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize