I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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