i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
