Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
