she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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