I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
