I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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