Don't make out with my wife yet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
