I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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