I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
