I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
