Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
