when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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