We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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