Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
