She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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