Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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