but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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