She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do vagina's smell?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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