I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
