I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
