I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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