Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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