Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
