why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
