I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
