her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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