People in love make me want to vomit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
