it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
