Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
