She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
