Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There was a lot of him and a little penis
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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