Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
