if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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