i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
