I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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