my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
