Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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