I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
