Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
