she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
