I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
