Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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