My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
