Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
