god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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