i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
