the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
