Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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