I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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