hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
