I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
