my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
