Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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