I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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