I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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