you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
