Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Barsexuality is the new black.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
