HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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