OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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