He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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