At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
