for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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