He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
