the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
