It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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