I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
